I love brother...

Brother loves me

We're a happy family

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to him

Won't he say he loves me too!
This is the song Jillene has been singing. She is so excited about having a brother and just can't wait to meet him. Every morning they have their special time together. I'm so thankful for this summer, it gives Jill all the time she wants to spend with him without the rush of tiring to get ready to be somewhere each morning. She wakes up, tells me good morning and kisses me and then goes straight for the belly! She tells him good morning, hugs him, lays across my belly just waiting for him to kick her. She gets so excited every morning like it was the first time she felt him. She tells him what they are going to do that day, or what cartoons they are going to watch. She always asks him if the plans/show is OK with him, pauses a bit and then says "OK brother", and says brother is excited too. I just can't wait to see them together! She will be the first one in the room with us once little man is born and will get all the time she wants alone with him.

As a mom I feel so happy/proud that I can give my daughter a sibling. It makes me cry just thinking of them together. There are times that I am sad that the days of just me and my girl are almost over, but then she walks up and touches her brother and tells him she loves him and I know she wouldn't have it any other way. I hope the love she has for him know never fades, I pray it grows and grows. I have made sure that this summer if full of wonderful memories for Jill. She and I are doing many special things together, just she and I...I'll post about those adventures later.

Today also makes 30 weeks, 3/4 of the way there, he'll be here before we know it. We go for a 3D ultrasound tomorrow. I'll post pictures and maybe even belly shots too. Next Sunday I'm having real belly pictures done and then the next week is Chase's baby shower. Jill calls it brother's party or Chase's party and is so excited to be a part of it. She can't wait to go. She always looks at the pictures from her baby shower and comments on the smiles on every ones faces (especially mommy's). She knows we're all smiling because we were soooooo excited that she was coming and she wants to be smiling at brother's shower so he knows how happy she is that he is coming!!!!

Peek a Boo Brother

(see her peeking around him?...too cute)

***Disclaimer...

I can't believe I'm posting pictures of me in a bathing suit, normally I wouldn't do this not preggers, but I just love love love my belly this pregnancy and I actually like what I look like in a swim suit now! OK maybe the hormones are making me crazy, but for now I'm liking my preggers self!

The Paci Fairy

I want to start by saying how proud I am of my little “big” girl. It’s seems like the day she turned three she really blossomed into a little girl and grew out of the toddler stage. She is talking in more complete sentences, I mean she did before but now there is more description and explanation in them. We have real conversations now, she asks great questions and I just love watching her learn. She is working on the days of the week and uses "today", "yesterday" and "tomorrow" correctly. She knows it's cold in the winter and hot in the summer (that's all she needs to know in FL) and knows that when it's "summa time" we don't have to go to school and get to be together ALL day!!! We both love SUMMA TIME!!!

She surprises me everyday…and the biggest surprise was giving up her beloved paci. I know, I know…we should have done this way before three but we didn’t. She did many other things early and this was her one thing she was hanging on to, her comfort and I wasn’t ready to take it until she was ready to give it.

So to prepare for giving up the paci, I started talking to her about the “Paci Fairy”. Yes I created an imaginary fairy that comes and takes pacis to babies and gives the child giving them up a big surprise. What surprise you ask??? Well you get anything you ask for. We walked the toy isles looking at toys that where worth giving the paci for, she found many she liked but none worth the paci. I let it go, talking about it often, but not pushing the matter. At her three year check up her doctor suggested lollypops! That sounded good for a while, but then that too wasn’t worth the paci.

Well in the mean time, for her birthday my family and I pitched in together to but her a playset for the backyard. The one she got from her uncles for her first birthday was just way too small this year (but still perfect for little man). So it arrived the week before her birthday and we were just waiting for everyone to have a day off (at the same time...that never happens) to get it put together. Well E’s brother surprised her and came down from NC for her party (May 2nd) and would be here for the weekend. So Sunday her Daddy, Grampa, Uncle Jassan, Uncle Nick and daddy’s friend Nick spent the afternoon putting the beloved playset together.

While this was happening Aunt Lisa and I did all we could to keep her from looking out back. When we ran out of things to do inside we decided to go to Walmart. As we walked in Jill saw a playset outside. “Momma,” she said, “if I give my pacis to the Paci Fairy will she bring me a big girl slide and big girl swing?” OMG I couldn’t believe my ears…she was actually suggesting own her own to give them up. “YES, YES, YES Jill she can bring a slide and swing” (little did she know they are already in the backyard!!!). She got so excited and couldn’t wait to get home.

When we got there I gave her a baggie and she went around collecting all her pacis. We took them to the mailbox, she put them in (another shock) and pushed the flag up and yelled “Paci Fairy come get my pacis and bring me a big girl slide and big girl swing!!!”.

Here she is with the bag of pacis she collected, so excited to give them to the paci fairy.

She put them in the mailbox with a smile on her face.

Gotta put the flag up and yell "Paci Fairy come get my pacis!!!!"


TA-DA!!!!!!

We went back in to eat lunch and while Aunt Lisa kept her occupied I went and got the pacis and put the flag down. After lunch she went to check and saw the flag was down and got so excited (yet another shock…I expected a breakdown) and wanted to go look in the backyard.

She ran in and to the back window to find everyone hard at work on ht playset. Man I wish I had a picture of the look on her face…it was priceless. It was dark when it was finally finished but she waited paitentialy with her My size Barbie she named “Me” that she got from Miss Josie for her birthday ready to try out her new slide. Uncle Nick caught her and ‘Me” as they came down the slide, he helped them both cross the monkey bars and pushed them in the swing (after we tied the ropes around “Me’s” arms). She came in so tuckerd out, she showered and cried less then ten minutes for the paci and was out. Somewhere during that time she told the paci fairy to come get her slide and swing and bring back the pacis, but come morning she was relived to see her playset still there. She said “I no want paci fairy to come get my slide and swing, she can have my pacis!” Another shock to me and another proud moment!!! I have told her so many times lately how proud I am of her, she is such a big girl!

She did ask for it the next few days in her car seat but I gave her a peppermint or lollypop and she was good as gold. The 2nd night she asked for the paci a few times, but there were no tears and by the 3rd night she asked once and then remembered the paci fairy had them and laid right down. It’s been so much easier then I could have ever imagined, I’m a proud momma!!!

Mother's Day

I awoke to a kick…a kick from my little man. This is the first time he’s woken me up this way (not the last I’m sure).

I think this was his way of being the first to wish me a happy mother’s day.

Once Jill woke up we hung out in bed watching cartoons while E made breakfast. We enjoyed scrambled eggs, bacon and a bagel outside on the porch. After breakfast we put on our swimsuits and headed back outside to lounge by/in the pool all day. It was a perfect relaxing day of fun! After soaking up the rays, we headed in to shower and get ready for diner at my favorite restaurant, Giordano’s. They make the best pizza in the world, no joke! Once home, Jill and I headed to bed to finish the day as it began, in bed watching cartoons, gotta love Scooby Doo!

Jillene thanks for making me a mommy and making my day the best ever!
Little Man I can’t wait to share this special day with you too next year, it’ll be twice the fun!

Oh I almost forgot, I could see my belly move for the first time too. As I laid in the sun you could see it jumping all about. Jill and I floated together in the pool and she was facing me laying back on my legs so her butt was at the base of my belly and he kicked her butt! She thought it was so funny. Then in bed before she fell asleep she could see my belly moving too, she was wide eyed and amazed!!! I can’t wait to see them together!

My little lady

My baby has become a little girl.......

It's bitter sweet!

Happy 3rd Birthday Bean!!!!

Before I begin I must warn you that this isn't the happy post about her best birthday ever.

This really was the best year and party, but the day of her birthday was hard for me (and her too). I'm sure hormones have a lot to do with it...but preggers or not it was a rough day;

here's why:

This was the first (and hopefully last) year that I was not able to be home with her on her birthday. Schools are out of substitute money therefore we can’t miss school unless its an emergency. With little man on the way, I’ve already missed too many days/hours lately. It makes it hard on the rest of my team (we have to split the kids up between the other teachers in my grade level). So I thought bringing cupcakes to her at school (while my students were at PE) would be the next best thing. I’m glad I went but I never realized how hard that would be on Jill (and me too) when it was time for me to leave. She broke my heart as she begged me to take her with me. She begged me not to leave her on her birthday and promised she’d be good if I took her with me. Did she think I was leaving her because she isn’t good? I explained I had to go back to work and that I’d be back soon, but nothing helped. Her teacher had to pry her off me, kicking and screaming and begging me not to go and saying how much she loved me. I felt like the biggest piece of ****, the worst mommy ever…I just wanted to kick and scream and cry too!!! I went back to school a wreck. How could it be her third birthday and I’m not with her (and to think I’m about to do this all over again with little man).

I know this is normal for a lot of moms, but I don’t want this to be normal for me, I had a baby because I wanted to be with her, raise her and teach her. Just yesterday she sang me a song I didn’t know she knew and that broke my heart. I should be the one teaching her songs, I should KNOW what songs she knows. I didn’t teach her her ABC’s, colors or how to count...none of it. That’s my job and it’s so not fair that someone else gets to do it. I couldn’t help but cry, I was an emotional wreck!!! I can’t miss any more.

Everyone said it gets easier with time, but they lied. Every time she cries for me when I leave it breaks my heart. I know what those teachers are thinking, even if they are the greatest teacher, no one likes a cry baby and I know she cries for me everyday. When I pick her up the afternoon teachers say that when she wakes up from her nap she realizes where she is and that I’m not there and it starts again.

I went to daycare as a kid (only for one year when I was 4) and I remember that feeling I’d get when my mom would leave, it never got better, I hated everyday of it. The school was fine and I had friends but I ONLY wanted my mom and only she could make me better. I thought that Jill would be adjusted and used to going before she could really “remember”, but she remembers things now and I know she’ll remember this at that makes me cry even more.

I can’t take this, especially x2.

Jill was born at 2:52pm and I was not with her…I wanted to scream! (little man better be born in the evening so I can ALWAYS be with him, no wait then I’ll feel guilty for being with one and not the other…man this just sucks!!!)

Here she is enjoying her cupcake...she loved them!

All was well until she knew I was leaving...I hate this, I want to be a SAHM!!!!!!

So anyone know the lottery numbers so I can quit my job?

Boy, oh Boy...

WE ARE HAVING A BOY!!!!!

I can't believe it but it's true.... I'm going to have a son!

It was a total shock, I thought for sure Jill had been right about having a sister, of course I knew it was 50/50, but for some reason I believe her. When he showed us he was a "he" I just couldn't believe it. The look on Eric's face was priceless, he was SO excited to be having a son.

We didn't get a picture of us face, there is only one thing he wanted to show us:-) So I go back in two weeks for another ultrasound, so hopefully we'll get a good look at his face then and I'll post pictures.

His heart rate was 146 and he is measuring 10oz.

Different but the Same

The title makes me laugh! I love it when someone says something like..."I have that same shirt except mine is blue, not pink, and mine has a long sleeves, not short, and mine has more buttons" and you are left thinking well then that isn't the same shirt at all. I guess that's what I've been thinking about this pregnancy. There are so many things this pregnancy has in common with my first, yet many differences too!

I found out I was pregnant both times on Friday the 9th, with Jill it was September 9th, with this one January 9th. I always felt Jill move for the first time each day around 10AM and always on my right side. I started feeling this baby move consistently last Monday April 6th (17w6d) and it was 10:10 and on my right side and each day since it's been the same (Daddy felt the baby too on Wednesday and then Aunt Ra Ra on Thursday!!!). We found out Jill was a girl 4 days after Christmas and will find out about this one 4 days after Easter.

With Jill I had none of the typical pregnancy symptoms, no morning sickness, no heartburn, no mood swings...it was the perfect pregnancy, I was happy all the time. This baby made me sick from week 6-9, and then a crazy rash that made me itch from week 11-15. And don't ask my poor husband about mood swings, let's just say he's been very understanding!

I just wonder now if they will have the BIG question in common...will they both be girls or is it time to introduce some blue into the house??? Tomorrow is the big day and I'm so excited and sad at the same time. Not sad like I want to cry, but sad that the dreaming and imnagining will be over. Today I can wonder what it'd be like to have a girl and a boy, or two girls. Or if I'll have two little dresses to buy next Easter or a cute little sweater vest to match Jill's dress. I'm so excited to KNOW who is in there, yet the what if's will be over. I totally WANT to know, don't get me wrong, it's just reality that tomorrow changes things. Jill has ALWAYS said this baby IS a girl, so we keep saying "she", I wonder if she's right..and if she isn't I'm going to have a very sad little girl! Eric and I will be exicted either way. Jill and I will be going shopping after the ultrasound so I'll post pictures of the baby's clothes tomorrow. Will they be pink or blue???

Kick me Baby!!!!

Last Saturday 3/28 (16w5d) we were visiting on of our favorite places and took a break to enjoy some yummy grapes when I felt something. It wasn't really a kick or a flutter but more of a push from the inside, nothing like the first time I felt Jill. I wasn't sure if it really was the baby. I wanted to feel it so bad I wasn't sure if I was imaginig things.

Then on Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment and Jill, E and Grammy got to come. My doctor (who also delivered Jill) Let Jill use the wand to find the heartbeat. They searched all over my mid belly, but didn't find it right away like they had before. The doctor tried off to the right side (kind of near my hip bone) and there it was!!! That happened to also be exactly where I had felt the push:) So I'm now convinced that was the baby. We were having such a great day that I'm sure the baby just wanted me to know she/he was enjoying themself also.

Invitation!!!

We love love love Wee Little Designs and will never get cards anywhere else again. Jamie is so awesome to work with and makes the most perfect cards. Here is the invitaion she made for us this year...

We are so happy, isn't it just amazing???

Jill did so awesome having her picture taken this year, she is such a big girl these days. She posed just as the lady asked and smiled right on cue. Every picture came out perfect the first time. This was the easiest visit yet...now next year with two I'm sure will be different:) But I can't wait.