One Month

One month ago today this is where I was. In room #211, the same room Jill was born in.

We were supposed to be at the hospital at 8AM to be induced, but we were late of course. We had to stop for gas.

Being induced had not been my plan. I really wanted to go on my own this time, but I guess Chase had other plans. I had been contracting for two+ weeks on and off. At my last two appointments the doctors said they didn't think I'd make it to the next appointment and that scheduling the induction was just in case. Well it was a good thing they did, I don't think my little man was planning on coming any time soon. He was pretty comfortable in there, and now as I look back I was pretty happy with him in there too. Yes those last few weeks I was so anxious to meet him, but I felt great and loved being pregnant with my boy.

Once nurse Judy got me settled in my room Dr. J checked me at 9am and I was 4cm and 100% effaced, all ready to go! She decided to go ahead and break my water. It feels so icky being wet. I see chicks on TV (too much of TLC's "A Baby Story") walking the halls after their water breaks and I don't get it? Mine gushed too much with both kids; they'd have to follow behind me with a mop! So that part wasn't very enjoyable, but I knew that brought me one step closer to meeting my son. Once my water was broken real contractions started on their own.

I was happy to know that my body was ready.

RN students from a local college were following nurses that day. My nurse Jenny was working with a student named Krista. I was asked if Krista could start my IV and since by brother is working towards nursing school I thought of him and agreed. Well that was the most painful part of my labor and delivery. Krista's teacher walked in as she began and she was asking her questions while she was stabbing me, not very reassuring.

By 10:30 I was at 5 cm and really feeling the contractions. With Jill after receiving my epidural I was able to relax and went quickly from there. So I decided to go ahead and get the epidural. They started pitocin at the same time. By 1:40 I was at 6cm and at 2:10 I was 7cm, I knew it wouldn't be long. At around 2:30 I started feeling the contractions again and then a lot of pressure. My nurse had me roll over and said if I still felt them in 10 min she'd increase the epidural. Well 10 minute later the pressure was really getting strong so she called for the anesthesiologist.

Then I had to push. I asked her to check me and at 2:52 (the time Jill was born) she confirmed I was ready to go. But as luck would have it, my doctor wasn't there, she was at the office. So I waited and waited, it was challenging, but I like a good challenge!
Since Eric had prior experience (he delivered Jillene), Dr. J let him get suited up and deliver Chase as well. After less than two minutes of pushing E got to be the first one to touch him and watch him take his first breath. At 3:28 we welcomed Chase Alexander into this world. Eric put him on me right away and it was just amazing. His birth was such a peaceful and joyful experience. It was perfect from start to finish.

I was so unbelievably happy!

Since coming home Chase has been a great baby. He is very easy going, cries only if he needs to be changed or if he's hungry. He eats like a champ, latched on great from the start. He is a great sleeper too. He's asleep between 8-9 PM and sleeps until around 12-1. He eats and is back out within 30min and then sleeps until 5-6, then sleeps again until 8-9. Then he's up for the morning. He started smiling and cooing and is especially happy in morning. I can't get enough of him, I could hold him all do; I think I did the first few weeks!!! He loves taking baths and sucks his thumb. He doesn't really like the paci or drinking from the bottle (BM), but since I have to go back to work, bottles are something he has to get used to. This breaks my heart; I'd give anything to be home with my kids...sigh.

Jill was so happy to meet "broder".

She loves him so much and wants to do everything for him. She loves holding him and even changed his poopy diaper! She loves him a little too much sometimes, but we are working on that.

Have I mentioned that she named him? Chase was a name on the list, along with many others. She heard us talking names one day and declared his name to be Chase. We weren't sold right away. One day Daddy and his friend Nick were hanging out with her by the swing set and again discussing names...this made her very unhappy since she had already told us his name. On that day she declared his full name to be "Chase Alawander" as she says it, Chase Alexander to us! We are now hooked and according to her "broder told me that's his name" so how could we name him anything else!

We are so happy to have this little boy home! This is one of my favorite pictures of him. He had his first photo shoot with Sue at 15 days old.
I'll be posting more of the pictures she took in the next post.

Chase,
I'm so in love you baby! You are amazing and I look forward to each and every day with you. I'm so proud to be your momma and I'm thrilled to have a son!

Tomorow, tomorrow...

my due date's tomorrow

it's only hours away!!!!

(you know, to the Annie tune)

(5 weeks)

From this to this in nine short months

(39 weeks)

The thing is it doesn't feel like hours away, it feels like it'll never get here!!!

I really can't believe I'm still preggers, with Jill I was holding a two week old baby when her due date rolled around. If he hasn't made his appearance by Thursday, I'm set to be induced...... or shall I say he's getting evicted!!!

I didn't really want it to happen that way, but I want to meet him and that seems like the only option at the moment, I'm desperate to meet my boy!!!

I still feel great, actually better these past few weeks since he dropped. I had major back pain for most of this pregnancy but that's gotten so much better lately. Maybe that's why he's still hanging out, he knows I feel great. I even still have ankles and toes, and I can even see them (well kind of!)

I'm headed out to start walking, maybe that will help...wish my luck!!!

CHASE COME OUT AND MEET YOUR FAMILY!!!!!!

Love ya Little Man,

Momma

Hours? Days? or Weeks?

It could be any of those before I meet my boy. His due date is in 9 days, but at this point with Jill she was already in my arms. He's already baked 8 days longer then his sister. I know every pregnancy is different but I just can't wait any longer...I want to meet my boy!

At my doctors appointment on Thursday I was 1-2 CM and at zero station and the doctor said he didn’t expect to see me next week, and that sounded perfect to me too, I’d rather not see him either! I’m feeling so anxious and ready. I’ve been cleaning floors every night, I have all the laundry done, I’m done with BR work and I have weeks 1-4 of lesson plans done for my students. Now I just need my boy in my arms. I woke up Thursday morning at 4:30 feeling what I thought were real contractions. I’ve had BH Contractions for a while now, but these were different. Major cramps very low and into my upper thighs. They stopped me in my tracks. There were three good ones about 6-8 min apart and then they became sporadic. I went on to school where they continued but not getting any stronger. Friday was the same. I woke up sporadically through the night and they continued that way all day, but that was it. They didn't get stronger or closer together. This weekend they pretty much stopped. I've tried eating really spicy things, mac-n-cheese with A1 sauce, we at the Mexican restaurant I ate at the night before Jill was born (even had the same thing) and nothing. I've been walking, I even climbed about a million (OK it felt that way) stairs at the water park today to take Jill on a tube slide. Getting my butt into the back of a double tube must have been a funny sight, it was pretty challenging but I did it and we had a blast!

So I guess I will have another week with my students. The plan is for Friday to be my last day since my due date will be the following Tuesday and school is closed Monday for labor day. At this point I think I may still be pregnant that week too. It feels like he'll never get here. I now I probably sound silly since I still have over a week until I'm due. I'm just so anxious. Since Jill came before I expected her too I never had the "when is the baby coming" feelings, she surprised me (as she still does daily!), so I guess that's why this feels weird to me.

I just want my boy!!!!

Chase,
I can’t wait to meet you. You are so close yet you seem so far. As I rest my hands on you I feel you move, but I want to feel you moving out here. Your sister can’t wait to meet you too. I think she may be more anxious then daddy and I. I can’t wait to see what you look like, hear your cry and see those cute little toes. The closer it gets to the end the longer it seems like it’s taking. You are the missing part to our family puzzle and we need you to come join us and make us complete. The Grandfathers (or farters to your sis), Grammy, Mimi and Pop Pop are so excited to meet you too. Your Aunt Rachele and all your uncles are waiting too (there are so many of them you'll have an endless supply!) We love you big boy, please come meet your momma! I know I've asked you to wait September for the last nine months (because I love sapphires) but if your ready come on!!! August is a good month too, I'm sure that birthstone is pretty!

I love brother...

Brother loves me

We're a happy family

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to him

Won't he say he loves me too!
This is the song Jillene has been singing. She is so excited about having a brother and just can't wait to meet him. Every morning they have their special time together. I'm so thankful for this summer, it gives Jill all the time she wants to spend with him without the rush of tiring to get ready to be somewhere each morning. She wakes up, tells me good morning and kisses me and then goes straight for the belly! She tells him good morning, hugs him, lays across my belly just waiting for him to kick her. She gets so excited every morning like it was the first time she felt him. She tells him what they are going to do that day, or what cartoons they are going to watch. She always asks him if the plans/show is OK with him, pauses a bit and then says "OK brother", and says brother is excited too. I just can't wait to see them together! She will be the first one in the room with us once little man is born and will get all the time she wants alone with him.

As a mom I feel so happy/proud that I can give my daughter a sibling. It makes me cry just thinking of them together. There are times that I am sad that the days of just me and my girl are almost over, but then she walks up and touches her brother and tells him she loves him and I know she wouldn't have it any other way. I hope the love she has for him know never fades, I pray it grows and grows. I have made sure that this summer if full of wonderful memories for Jill. She and I are doing many special things together, just she and I...I'll post about those adventures later.

Today also makes 30 weeks, 3/4 of the way there, he'll be here before we know it. We go for a 3D ultrasound tomorrow. I'll post pictures and maybe even belly shots too. Next Sunday I'm having real belly pictures done and then the next week is Chase's baby shower. Jill calls it brother's party or Chase's party and is so excited to be a part of it. She can't wait to go. She always looks at the pictures from her baby shower and comments on the smiles on every ones faces (especially mommy's). She knows we're all smiling because we were soooooo excited that she was coming and she wants to be smiling at brother's shower so he knows how happy she is that he is coming!!!!

Peek a Boo Brother

(see her peeking around him?...too cute)

***Disclaimer...

I can't believe I'm posting pictures of me in a bathing suit, normally I wouldn't do this not preggers, but I just love love love my belly this pregnancy and I actually like what I look like in a swim suit now! OK maybe the hormones are making me crazy, but for now I'm liking my preggers self!

The Paci Fairy

I want to start by saying how proud I am of my little “big” girl. It’s seems like the day she turned three she really blossomed into a little girl and grew out of the toddler stage. She is talking in more complete sentences, I mean she did before but now there is more description and explanation in them. We have real conversations now, she asks great questions and I just love watching her learn. She is working on the days of the week and uses "today", "yesterday" and "tomorrow" correctly. She knows it's cold in the winter and hot in the summer (that's all she needs to know in FL) and knows that when it's "summa time" we don't have to go to school and get to be together ALL day!!! We both love SUMMA TIME!!!

She surprises me everyday…and the biggest surprise was giving up her beloved paci. I know, I know…we should have done this way before three but we didn’t. She did many other things early and this was her one thing she was hanging on to, her comfort and I wasn’t ready to take it until she was ready to give it.

So to prepare for giving up the paci, I started talking to her about the “Paci Fairy”. Yes I created an imaginary fairy that comes and takes pacis to babies and gives the child giving them up a big surprise. What surprise you ask??? Well you get anything you ask for. We walked the toy isles looking at toys that where worth giving the paci for, she found many she liked but none worth the paci. I let it go, talking about it often, but not pushing the matter. At her three year check up her doctor suggested lollypops! That sounded good for a while, but then that too wasn’t worth the paci.

Well in the mean time, for her birthday my family and I pitched in together to but her a playset for the backyard. The one she got from her uncles for her first birthday was just way too small this year (but still perfect for little man). So it arrived the week before her birthday and we were just waiting for everyone to have a day off (at the same time...that never happens) to get it put together. Well E’s brother surprised her and came down from NC for her party (May 2nd) and would be here for the weekend. So Sunday her Daddy, Grampa, Uncle Jassan, Uncle Nick and daddy’s friend Nick spent the afternoon putting the beloved playset together.

While this was happening Aunt Lisa and I did all we could to keep her from looking out back. When we ran out of things to do inside we decided to go to Walmart. As we walked in Jill saw a playset outside. “Momma,” she said, “if I give my pacis to the Paci Fairy will she bring me a big girl slide and big girl swing?” OMG I couldn’t believe my ears…she was actually suggesting own her own to give them up. “YES, YES, YES Jill she can bring a slide and swing” (little did she know they are already in the backyard!!!). She got so excited and couldn’t wait to get home.

When we got there I gave her a baggie and she went around collecting all her pacis. We took them to the mailbox, she put them in (another shock) and pushed the flag up and yelled “Paci Fairy come get my pacis and bring me a big girl slide and big girl swing!!!”.

Here she is with the bag of pacis she collected, so excited to give them to the paci fairy.

She put them in the mailbox with a smile on her face.

Gotta put the flag up and yell "Paci Fairy come get my pacis!!!!"


TA-DA!!!!!!

We went back in to eat lunch and while Aunt Lisa kept her occupied I went and got the pacis and put the flag down. After lunch she went to check and saw the flag was down and got so excited (yet another shock…I expected a breakdown) and wanted to go look in the backyard.

She ran in and to the back window to find everyone hard at work on ht playset. Man I wish I had a picture of the look on her face…it was priceless. It was dark when it was finally finished but she waited paitentialy with her My size Barbie she named “Me” that she got from Miss Josie for her birthday ready to try out her new slide. Uncle Nick caught her and ‘Me” as they came down the slide, he helped them both cross the monkey bars and pushed them in the swing (after we tied the ropes around “Me’s” arms). She came in so tuckerd out, she showered and cried less then ten minutes for the paci and was out. Somewhere during that time she told the paci fairy to come get her slide and swing and bring back the pacis, but come morning she was relived to see her playset still there. She said “I no want paci fairy to come get my slide and swing, she can have my pacis!” Another shock to me and another proud moment!!! I have told her so many times lately how proud I am of her, she is such a big girl!

She did ask for it the next few days in her car seat but I gave her a peppermint or lollypop and she was good as gold. The 2nd night she asked for the paci a few times, but there were no tears and by the 3rd night she asked once and then remembered the paci fairy had them and laid right down. It’s been so much easier then I could have ever imagined, I’m a proud momma!!!

Mother's Day

I awoke to a kick…a kick from my little man. This is the first time he’s woken me up this way (not the last I’m sure).

I think this was his way of being the first to wish me a happy mother’s day.

Once Jill woke up we hung out in bed watching cartoons while E made breakfast. We enjoyed scrambled eggs, bacon and a bagel outside on the porch. After breakfast we put on our swimsuits and headed back outside to lounge by/in the pool all day. It was a perfect relaxing day of fun! After soaking up the rays, we headed in to shower and get ready for diner at my favorite restaurant, Giordano’s. They make the best pizza in the world, no joke! Once home, Jill and I headed to bed to finish the day as it began, in bed watching cartoons, gotta love Scooby Doo!

Jillene thanks for making me a mommy and making my day the best ever!
Little Man I can’t wait to share this special day with you too next year, it’ll be twice the fun!

Oh I almost forgot, I could see my belly move for the first time too. As I laid in the sun you could see it jumping all about. Jill and I floated together in the pool and she was facing me laying back on my legs so her butt was at the base of my belly and he kicked her butt! She thought it was so funny. Then in bed before she fell asleep she could see my belly moving too, she was wide eyed and amazed!!! I can’t wait to see them together!

My little lady

My baby has become a little girl.......

It's bitter sweet!

Happy 3rd Birthday Bean!!!!

Before I begin I must warn you that this isn't the happy post about her best birthday ever.

This really was the best year and party, but the day of her birthday was hard for me (and her too). I'm sure hormones have a lot to do with it...but preggers or not it was a rough day;

here's why:

This was the first (and hopefully last) year that I was not able to be home with her on her birthday. Schools are out of substitute money therefore we can’t miss school unless its an emergency. With little man on the way, I’ve already missed too many days/hours lately. It makes it hard on the rest of my team (we have to split the kids up between the other teachers in my grade level). So I thought bringing cupcakes to her at school (while my students were at PE) would be the next best thing. I’m glad I went but I never realized how hard that would be on Jill (and me too) when it was time for me to leave. She broke my heart as she begged me to take her with me. She begged me not to leave her on her birthday and promised she’d be good if I took her with me. Did she think I was leaving her because she isn’t good? I explained I had to go back to work and that I’d be back soon, but nothing helped. Her teacher had to pry her off me, kicking and screaming and begging me not to go and saying how much she loved me. I felt like the biggest piece of ****, the worst mommy ever…I just wanted to kick and scream and cry too!!! I went back to school a wreck. How could it be her third birthday and I’m not with her (and to think I’m about to do this all over again with little man).

I know this is normal for a lot of moms, but I don’t want this to be normal for me, I had a baby because I wanted to be with her, raise her and teach her. Just yesterday she sang me a song I didn’t know she knew and that broke my heart. I should be the one teaching her songs, I should KNOW what songs she knows. I didn’t teach her her ABC’s, colors or how to count...none of it. That’s my job and it’s so not fair that someone else gets to do it. I couldn’t help but cry, I was an emotional wreck!!! I can’t miss any more.

Everyone said it gets easier with time, but they lied. Every time she cries for me when I leave it breaks my heart. I know what those teachers are thinking, even if they are the greatest teacher, no one likes a cry baby and I know she cries for me everyday. When I pick her up the afternoon teachers say that when she wakes up from her nap she realizes where she is and that I’m not there and it starts again.

I went to daycare as a kid (only for one year when I was 4) and I remember that feeling I’d get when my mom would leave, it never got better, I hated everyday of it. The school was fine and I had friends but I ONLY wanted my mom and only she could make me better. I thought that Jill would be adjusted and used to going before she could really “remember”, but she remembers things now and I know she’ll remember this at that makes me cry even more.

I can’t take this, especially x2.

Jill was born at 2:52pm and I was not with her…I wanted to scream! (little man better be born in the evening so I can ALWAYS be with him, no wait then I’ll feel guilty for being with one and not the other…man this just sucks!!!)

Here she is enjoying her cupcake...she loved them!

All was well until she knew I was leaving...I hate this, I want to be a SAHM!!!!!!

So anyone know the lottery numbers so I can quit my job?

Boy, oh Boy...

WE ARE HAVING A BOY!!!!!

I can't believe it but it's true.... I'm going to have a son!

It was a total shock, I thought for sure Jill had been right about having a sister, of course I knew it was 50/50, but for some reason I believe her. When he showed us he was a "he" I just couldn't believe it. The look on Eric's face was priceless, he was SO excited to be having a son.

We didn't get a picture of us face, there is only one thing he wanted to show us:-) So I go back in two weeks for another ultrasound, so hopefully we'll get a good look at his face then and I'll post pictures.

His heart rate was 146 and he is measuring 10oz.